Chapter 6 or so: words that start with the letter "D"
First word - DECISIONS... As I sat in bible study - leading the study it was a week that we talked about forgiveness. I as a leader was supposed to talk about how we forgive one another... Just as God forgave us - the ultimate sacrifice.
But wait. A light bulb went off - I totally understand God's forgiveness and grace, and I knew what it meant to forgive people for everyday things...
And yet I didn't understand how to forgive myself... Even bigger -- how was I ever going to forgive my dad? Or my husband??? Or myself?????
I felt like a fake. I talked the talk - and I quasi walked the walk. How on earth could I be leading a church group when I was unwilling to grasp the very concept I expected from others? The very concept that my entire faith was based on. I had to take a hard look within.
And what was this voice that I had heard? Was it God? Pregnancy hormones? My imagination?
I knew deep down what it was... God has made Himself abundantly clear many times in my life... And this was one of those times - there was no escaping the prompt He was putting on me. It was a call for obedience. In one of the most broken times of my life, He was wanting every part of me - not just the parts I wanted to give.
"Okay, God, I'm listening. What's your plan?"
And if I had known then the storm that I was about to walk into, I don't think I would have had the courage. But the storm was worth the sunrise...