Saturday, February 19, 2011

Kick in the lungs/arse - Quest for significance

Kick in the lungs/arse

A few months ago, I had one of the biggest kick in the lungs (or arse) moments I've ever experienced.  Without going into much detail, I was blind sighted with something I never thought would happen by a friend who I had a lot of trust in.  Not my husband, lol, but a close friend and mentor.

When someone you love and respect cuts you to your core and minimizes who you are in a matter of minutes it can be life changing... In fact, in my case that's exactly what it was - life changing.  

The lesson came quickly and that was the lesson of significance.  I had a huge part of my significance and identity resting in how they thought of me.  I didn't need their approval, but I sure thought I did.  Wow, that's so weird to admit or even say, but it's true.  I was looking at them to help define me.  I didn't see it then but I do now.  That's another reason it hurt so much and deep because I cared too deeply about something I should not have.  People are just people... We are all human, and we all have many imperfections.  I do and they do.

Through a lot of prayer I realize that sometimes distancing yourself from a person or situation is the right and best way to approach healing... It's not always the easiest way though.  On days like today I really miss and grieve that friendship.  

God is working on me though.  

Sometimes it takes hurt and kick in the lungs/arse moments to remind us how much we truly need Him and His direction.  I'm going to keep trusting and learning.  I have to continually remind myself that my significance completely rests in Him - and Him alone.

No comments:

Post a Comment