Monday, June 13, 2011

Hurry up & wait... Being patient with patience

Hurry up & wait...  Being patient with patience

Those who know me well know that the word "patient" isn't in my list of personal attributes...  I'm not good at waiting.  I'm not good at practicing patience with others.  In fact, when I hear the phrase "we just need to have patience" I feel my skin begin to crawl most times.

But as I continue to mature in this journey of life, I have begun to kind of understand the gift of receiving and practicing "patience".  

I now realize that in the seasons that I have been forced to wait on His timing that I in fact have learned a few things - obedience, a deep dependence on the Lord, and to appreciate those seasons of rediscovering myself, who He made me to be, and trusting in His promises for my life.

So, I can't help but laugh at the irony that God has now placed a calling on me that requires total patience, continued waiting, and almost no control... Because to lack patience is really to struggle with the inability to partially or fully control the outcome you desire.

The journey of becoming a foster parent is one that openly offers people the chance to have little to no control of outcomes or timing.  The process alone for being a foster parent requires so much of this... Paperwork, waiting, home visit, waiting, training, more paperwork, waiting, more training, fingerprinting, waiting, more training, waiting, home study, more waiting... 

And then once everything is done you wait some more... 

Until one day the phone rings and a child enters your home who needs love, and then you have to wait for the court to tell you how long you get to care for that kiddo... And the outcome of the length of time they stay with you, what is best for them, and their future has very little input from you.

When you lay it all out like this it doesn't sound very appealing...  In fact, it is kind of scary.  Scary to let go of all that control, of openly walking into unknowns and accepting that to do this well means to just trust that God knows what He is doing and we probably don't.

Yet, here I sit more convinced than I ever have been that God has us exactly where He wants us.  Convinced that He has entrusted us with this calling and knowing full well that on our own we could never do this, but through Christ who strengthens us He has already began equipping us for this next step of our journey.

And honestly, I kind of appreciate the hurry up and wait season we are in right now...  I am so ready to get through this season of the certification process but I believe that God is using it as a tool to prepare us for the next step.  

To trust in the calling means we also have to trust in the process.  So we are embracing patience with patience, and trusting He who began a good work will complete it.

Thank you for praying with us. :-)

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