Everyday is a winding road...
A few nights ago I had a dream that people from our foster training class were lining up on a curvy road waiting in line for our home study. Steve and I eagerly jumped in our spot among the winding road... And waited. And that's all I remember from my dream. We stood there just waiting with the others joyfully.
Then, I woke up and laughed as I told steve. He replied, "well, yeah that's reality, Rach..."
"what do you mean, you guess? That's exactly what we are doing. We are jumping on a curvy unknown road with other people as a community of believers all going by this call God has led us to in His time."
He was right...
As we pray and wait and pray some more and wait some more for this process to come to it's completion, I sometimes feel very alone. Wondering and hoping for it to speed up and get here already. Wondering if others sit and worry at night about the kids who are out there as we do. Wondering why God is prolonging the process...
BUT --- The reality is we aren't alone, and compared to others we are zooming through this process. We are surrounded by a body of believers who love us, believe in us, and are joining us in this calling.
All of my worry, frustration, impatience, and feelings of isolation are lies. And Satan loves to feed them to me.
I have to daily remind myself that this is in His timing... Right now, and once we get kids in our home and five years from now- it was always His timing. It always will be His timing.
Everyday I am faced with new feelings and thoughts about all this. It takes daily prayer to keep my eyes fixed. I know we are doing something right because we wouldn't be on Satan's radar if we weren't.
So here is to dreaming, and knowing we are where we are supposed to be... God has this one even when I try to convince myself He doesn't.
I am so grateful for my friends and family for loving us and continuing to pray.. We love you :)