Tuesday, September 6, 2011

in the storm.

Steve and I got some tough news today, the kind of news you never want to get, the kind of news that I don't know what to do with, the kind of news that I have to trust God has because I don't...

Recently, Steve and I found out that we were going to have a baby and we hoped to share this exciting news with all of you in the coming weeks as I progressed, but we hesitated since it was so early on... Today I found out that this baby is not going to be coming.

I was only a few weeks along, but we were excited.  I know that God has it under control. I KNOW that. 

I was going to keep this news private, but it felt better to write it out, to not be isolated as I lay here feeling so many mixed emotions. 

Honestly, I have laid here thinking of all the reasons this may have happened:

- was there something wrong with the baby?
- were we not ready?
- what is this supposed to be teaching us?
- is this so we will appreciate fostering even more?
- is this a sign to try again or to stop trying?
- how can God be glorified through this?
- was I pushing myself too hard?

And then it hit me that I do NOT need to be thinking or questioning or anything right now... I need to rest, that is it.
And, I am tired, friends...I know I will find the rest I need here in the arms of my sweet Jesus.

We appreciate your prayers, as we quietly rest and heal.  My heart already feels more peace than expected from those who have already prayed.  We love you.

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