When there is no happily ever after..
Everyone likes a good story. We grow up craving stories and become storytellers in some way or another. Some of us are better at it than others, while some have a hard time telling them. We tell stories about experiences from our own lives, radical things we have seen or heard, or retell other people's stories. But we are all guilty of being storytellers in some way or another.
A few years ago I noticed all the chick flick movies I would go see started having terribly bad and depressing endings. You know the type, like ones you would see in "real" life. Stepmom, the notebook, the time travelers wife, my sisters keeper, the list goes on... People died, relationships were left up in the air, hurt dwelled...
The truth is, we as a culture, whether we are someone who considers themselves spiritual or not are addicted to the idea of "good versus evil" and most of us root for the "good" guy or the "happy" ending.
I would like to say that is because we all genuinely wish for the good in things, but I think an even bigger reason is we are all terrified of the happy ending not taking place... Being stuck. Because that means pain is involved in some way or shape.
I've heard a lot of people say how great it is that I now get to have a happy ending to my story about reconnecting with my dad, and believe me, I praise God daily for the healing that's taken place...
But for many (myself included for so long) the happy ending in failed relationships or deep wounds never comes. And what happens then?
Well, lots of things can happen, but I'll tell you that the greatest happy ending is not ever going to take place here on this earth.
For years, I had resolved that I would never know or reconcile with my dad, and I would never get what I wanted from a relationship with him. It just wasn't in my cards.
At first I acted out, then I denied it, came to grips, reached a level of forgiveness, and opted for happiness in other areas hoping and praying that void would be full from God alone. Sounds a lot like grieving to me, and it was.
When we don't get our happy endings we grieve in some way or another - it is healthy! And I do believe God never takes us to something that He won't carry us through.
Sometimes I realize how much of a sucker I am to our worlds version of "happily ever after" and forget that the eternal one is so much sweeter.
If you are hurting, lost, confused, or just having a hard time coping with something that isn't what you signed up for or anticipated or wanted, let yourself grieve. Let yourself feel, and then let God carry you.
Our true happily ever afters can only be found in grace. And sometimes God rewrites the endings to something even greater.